Boone Out, Biles In as Wranglers Make Changes in the Dugout
August 3, 2024
San Antonio (UBAN) - A press release from Wrangler owner Evan Rosenberg: With a 3.5 game lead at the deadline and a slew of new talent flying in on Southwest Airlines, a change in the clubhouse was not foreseen. For weeks Manager Aaron Boone has been holding together the clubhouse but ownership is not on the same page. “He was hell bent on having Harry in Left†proclaimed owner and GM Evan Rosenberg! “Harry Hits and that’s all Harry has to do,†he continued. Yesterday the move was made to make sure Harold Ramierz stays in his DH roll, while telling Varsho to get his ass out to the outfield!
With upgrades made across the diamond, starting rotation, and acquiring the best closer in the game, ownership clearly took a WIN NOW approach to 2024. “We will win the division with Aaron but we’re looking to win Gold this year instead," said Rosenberg. With that proclamation announced in the clubhouse today, in walked a leader that needed no introduction - the Most Decorated Women’s Gymnast in U.S. History and regarded as one of the greatest gymnasts of all time, Simone Biles will now add San Antonio Wranglers Manager to her unparalleled resume. “We needed someone in our clubhouse to lead our team to glory and there’s no brighter light than Simone†said Rosenberg. As for Boone’s comments he was not made available at the time the press was in the clubhouse but 1 reporter thought he saw him at a Whataburger ordering 4 burgers, 4 shakes, and 8 orders of fries. A local teen posted this on X (formally known as Twitter) with a post written “First Place to 8 Orders of Fries Placeâ€
This Weekend The Wranglers are headed to the Windy City to take on the Central Division leading Chicago Otters with limited time for Biles to implement her elite skills. “I just won some gold but Wrangling is what I do best†said a smiling Biles! She concluded her comments by saying “I’ve competed on the world stage my entire life and it’s time for the fine folks of San Antonio to remember something else than just The Alamo…2024 will be BELIEVABLE!